When Inspiration Dies

December was a good month… as far as posting to this site is concerned. I was able to eek out a number of posts and had a pretty good run up to the last week of the year… my thoughts just seemed to be ready made for the online world. I was channeling ideas to the web and getting inspiration back… a positive feedback loop that had me feeling alive, plugged-in, digital, electric. Then came Christmas, family, New Years, parties, food, champaign, wine, beer, January… a long list of things that just drained me of any impulse to push thought to the outside world. I was as cold as winter.

Now… almost a full week into February… I am forcing myself to shake off the cobwebs and get something out of my head and into this space. My hope is that the act of posting… of staring down the blank screen… will spark some sort of inspiration. Hopefully the words your are reading now will be the fruitful ancestors to a torrent of future ideas, thoughts, and comments. And if we’re lucky, maybe some of those thoughts, ideas, and comments will be useful to someone somewhere. We’ll just have to wait and see.

In any event all of this has me asking myself one simple question: Why should I really care? Is there any reason I should feel obligated to write in this space? I’m not taking advertising or making money from this site… nobody depends on my words for their livelihood, intellectual sustenance, or news about the world. So why do I feel compelled to write? Why do I get more and more depressed as the date of my last post recedes further and further into the past?

My only answer… the only answer that begins to make sense… is that there is some therapeutic value to it. Living in a world where news, information and images relentlessly bombard us, an output becomes vital. Without it the pressure builds and starts to manifest itself as a slight haze of depression. This depression serves as a trigger for the release of that pressure which, in my case at least, comes in the form of this site. That you are here to read the results of that process is purely secondary…. I am not writing for the sake of an audience, I am writing for the sake my of my own sanity.

So, for the few of you who have managed to find this, welcome to my world, make yourself at home, and as always… feel free to comment.

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